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Hatomame Sweet Blend
鳩豆スウィートブレンド
HatomameSweetBlendCover
Information
Release date: February 14th, 2013
Price: ¥

3,000

ve


Hatomame Sweet Blend (鳩豆スウィートブレンド) was the fourth drama CD. It is only available in Japanese.

Voice Cast[]

Plot[]

THE LEGUMENTINE'S DAY REBELLION[]

  • Japanese Title:
  • Length:

Unofficial English Translation by Kyaaa on dreamwidth.org

TOHRI: All right, the pages for the readers' presents are okay. We'll also get ready to pack the large-scale items afterwards. The rest of you hurry up too!

EDITOR: Chief, what should we do with these beans?

TOHRI: What? That's a hefty package. It looks like that's too many to include as a freebie...

EDITOR: It's for Legumentine's, Chief. Tomorrow is Legumentine's.

TOHRI: L... Legumentine's?!

EDITOR: These are just some flukes that arrived early, so we'll get more the day of. Do you not even know about Legumentine's, Chief?

TOHRI: Nnnooooo, I know that much. But, why exactly are there so many of them? Hah! Could it be that I, the Editor-in-Chief, was so beautiful and magnificent that I became the subject of our readers' admirations--?!

EDITOR: What are you on about? They're addressed to Golden Weekly characters.

TOHRI: Wh... What?! Presents for fictional characters?! Ridiculous! And yet even somebirdie like me hasn't gotten any beans for Legumentine's... Ah, no... All of the readers are giving us their love so earnestly! As the Editor-in-Chief, shouldn't I be glad for that? No no, but...

EDITOR: Chief... Chiiiief...

TOHRI: It's still unfair!! To think that the world would celebrate Legumentine's while disregarding me! --That's right, hmhm. Ehehehehe! I have an idea. I'll be stepping out for a bit! I'll leave the rest to you. Ahahaha! Wahahahaha!

EDITOR: Wh--Please wait, Chief! We're busy right now, so leave your personal affairs for after... Geez... He's gone. Well, somehow or another, that bird always has his work in on time, so I guess it's okay.


RYOUTA: Legumentine's is an event that takes place annually on February 4th, where one gifts beans to an emotionally significant bird. Specific to bird culture, it was established in recent history. It originated from the religious holiday of Setsubun, or Valentine's Day, created during the time when humanity flourished. Originally, it is thought to have been a violent ritual where humans hit doves with beans, chanting "Luck in! Doves out!"

OKOSAN: Coo coo cooooooooo!! (Where did those lines come from all of a sudden, Ryoutaaa? Some thoughtful narration explaining terms that aren't familiar to all the listeners at home?)

RYOUTA: No, Sakuya asked what it meant, so I got out a dictionary. But I'm sure everybirdie learned something today!

SAKUYA: Oi, both of you stop speaking in the wrong direction! ...Then, you are saying that this "Legumentine's" that is so popular in Japan is originally an artifact of Christian culture?

RYOUTA: Looks like it. Or at least half of it.

SAKUYA: Is everybirdie who celebrates Legumentine's a Christian?

RYOUTA: Mmm... I'd say most aren't?

SAKUYA: First Halloween, then Christmas, and now... You Japanese honestly have no integrity. Lionizing religious events without even believing in them--do you feel no shame in doing so?

OKOSAN: Coo coooooooo! (That's one thing, and this is another.)

RYOUTA: Mmhmm, like that.

SAKUYA: I give up. In summary, it's a Legumentine's business. Or, more candidly, certain groups slip into the confusion of the event to hike prices on beans and manipulate ignorant commoners. A completely pitiful story.

RYOUTA: That doesn't mean it's automatically inexcusable, Sakuya! We also get excited and have fun and enjoy ourselves, so couldn't you say it's a win-win relationship?

OKOSAN: Coo cooooo! (So it is! Legumentine's is a glorious day.)

RYOUTA: Even you get excited if you think that somebirdie you like might give you a present, don't you, Sakuya?

SAKUYA: Wh--! Th... That's not true! Don't lump me in with the likes of you! ...If I spend much longer speaking to you, I'll be seen as an idiot! I am leaving!

RYOUTA: Aahh, wait, Sakuya!

SAKUYA: What?

RYOUTA: I think I'm going to go buy some Legumentine's beans after this. It's just a quick errand before work, but do you want to come with? A lot of stores have Legumentine's--

SAKUYA: I refuse.

RYOUTA: Would you at least let me finish...?

SAKUYA: I have a mountain of obligations already as heir to the Le Bel family. Today I am scheduled to do inspections within the city and some business negotiations. I don't have the time to spare to accompany you!

RYOUTA: Mmm, that's too bad. The nobility sure is busy. What about San?

OKOSAN: Cooooo! (Count me in, naturally!)

RYOUTA: You've got a weakness for beans, huh, San! What kind of beans do you like? If there's a store you'd recommend, then I want to know!

OKOSAN: Coo coo coooooo! (The best beans are found at the High Society Seagull Department Store. So says Okosan, King of the Food Court, so there is no doubt.)

RYOUTA: High Society Seagull Department Store... That elegant one! It has a pretty gorgeous atmosphere, but I haven't ever gone inside. All right, it's time for takeoff!


RYOUTA: Uwaaaah. Now that I can actually see inside, it really is an elegant store!

OKOSAN: Coo coo! (A distinguished history.)

RYOUTA: Can high school students like us come in here? It kind of feels like, "ah, indeed, no poor people permitted."

OKOSAN: Coo coo cooooo! (Okosan is a repeat customer, so they cannot possibly have a problem with Ryouta.)

CLERK: There is a problem.

OKOSAN: Coooo!! (Who dares?!)

RYOUTA: M... Mr. Seagull Clerk? Um, we're not doing anything suspicious--?

CLERK: Are you aware of the nature of this establishment?

RYOUTA: Eh? ...Um. It's the High Society Seagull Department Store, right?

CLERK: That is correct. The High Society Seagull Department Store. Repeat!

RYOUTA: Wha... High Society Seagull Department Store.

CLERK: Do you understand? This is high society's department store borne from the highest of high society.

RYOUTA: So... "high schoolers stay out", basically?

OKOSAN: Coo coo! (That would be an oddity! Okosan has never been refused passage!)

CLERK: That particular customer is a fantail as pure-white as any seagull. You are different. One can tell at a glance that a rock dove like you is not high society, so I must refuse you entrance!

RYOUTA: That's discrimination! That's super-speciesist!!

OKOSAN: Coo coo! (Okosan does not endorse discrimination! Okosan shall lodge a violent complaaaaint!!)

RYOUTA: Wai--You can't, San! Complaining is fine but violence is bad! You'll be banned from the store!

OKOSAN: Coooooo! (Hah, ah, that is a pickle. Okosan's life as a food court connoisseur would be placed into peril!)

CLERK: If that is how you feel, then that shabby rock dove may leave us now.


GIRL: What a downer. I heard the beans here were the best, too.

BOY: It can't be helped. Should we compromise with somewhere else?

RYOUTA: Hmm, what's going on? It seems kind of noisy.

OKOSAN: Coo coo cooooo! (How strange. Everybirdie has fallen into depression.)

CLERK: Nn... What is this; what has happened? ...Eh... The bottom floor? ...Understood. I'll make my way there.

RYOUTA: Weren't the beans on the bottom floor?

OKOSAN: Coo cooooo! (Team Okosan shall infilitrate by slipping into the confusion.)

RYOUTA: Mm. Let's go see!

RYOUTA: This is... Sold out sold out sold out sold out, there's nothing but "sold out" signs all over!

OKOSAN: Coo coo! (This is serious! A Legumentine's fair with no legumes?!)

TOHRI: That... that... oh and that too, I'll buy all of it. Just gather up everything from left to right, please!

RYOUTA: Hah, that absurdly flashy colorful bird... What are you doing, Nishikikouji-san?!

OKOSAN: Coo coo coo! (Cornering the market! Monopolies are bad!)

TOHRI: Aaah! You're St. Pigeonation's Academy's... Heheh. Did you come to buy some Legumentine's beans? Too bad. As you can see, all the most popular items have come under the control of yours truly, Nishikikouji Tohri!

RYOUTA: Why are you being so selfish?! Are you just planning on giving yourself a present because you're unpopular?

TOHRI: U... Unpopular?!

RYOUTA: Bullseye, huh?!

TOHRI: Whghh--! Excuse you. Do you really believe I would behave so crudely?

OKOSAN: Coo cooooo! (Then just what are you up to?)

TOHRI: I simply wanted to get in the way of everybirdie celebrating Legumentine's!

RYOUTA: That's plenty crude!

TOHRI: Birds celebrating their love arrive at the best bean sellers in town, and fall into despair as they see the "sold out" signs. Spectacular! What an artistic tragedy, ohohahahaha!

OKOSAN: Cooo! (Despicable low-life! Sleazebag!)

RYOUTA: That's right! Using money as a weapon is just dirty!

TOHRI: Haha! It's fine, isn't it? This is perfectly legal; I'm not violating any rules. Rather, I'm doing this department store a greaaaat service by increasing profits! I hope they'll be thanking me for all I've done.

RYOUTA: Aah, it's too cruel to ruin an event that everybirdie's been looking forward to!

TOHRI: Aaaaand now! Where shall I head next? The other stores hosting Legumentine's fairs aaaaare... Ahahaha, even this much makes it hard to carry the beanbag!

RYOUTA: Wait! Nishikikouji-san, please listen to me!

TOHRI: Whaaaat? By all means, oh, by all means! Are you going to get on your knees and beg for me to share some of the beans with you?

RYOUTA: No!

TOHRI: Nngh!

RYOUTA: Nishikikouji-san, you're just averting your eyes from reality! When you see everybirdie else getting pampered, you want to be pampered too. I understand that feeling. But, that's why even if you make other birds unhappy, it won't make you happy, Nishikikouji-san! Instead, you'll just drive everybirdie away, and you'll end up all alone!

TOHRI: He, heh, an artist leads a life of solitude by nature. Sorry, but I'm not one for such liaisons.

RYOUTA: But Nishikikouji-san, you're doing this because you want somebirdie to care about you, aren't you?

TOHRI: Tha... Th-Th-That could not possibly be true!

RYOUTA: Legumentine's is a special day where everybirdie holds their emotions in their hearts and treats others kindly. Nobirdie has the right to destroy that! Nishikikouji-san, you must have one too! Somebirdie who treats you kindly!

TOHRI: Somebirdie... who treats me... kindly...

RYOUTA: You might just not notice, but I know there must be somebirdie. Please don't get an inferiority complex just because you're unpopular!

OKOSAN: Coo coo cooooo! (Live well and wear your unpopularity with pride.)

TOHRI: Wh--! "Unpopular, unpopular," just be quiet already! I didn't imagine I'd be made to look like such a foooool... It's tooooo late for teary apologies! I'll thoroughly... thoroughly crush Legumentine's Day!

RYOUTA: Ah, that's...

OKOSAN: Coo coo coo. (Something intimidating has appeared.)

TOHRI: I didn't really want to unveil it in a place like this, but... Now! Feel fear and awe! Nishikikouji Masterpiece #810! Rotary bean cannon, Gatling Flare Beans! Things are going to get rough!!

RYOUTA: Ah, could he actually be trying to use those beans as bullets?!

TOHRI: You ought to repent for insulting me! I'll wreck the whole sales floor!

RYOUTA: Uwaaaaahhhhhh! He really isn't holding back! Take cover, San!

OKOSAN: Coo coooo!

TOHRI: Ahahahaha! It's useless! My art tears through any obstacle like paper! Internal support system, central exhaust pipe, evenly distributed weight--eating these might be good for you, but getting hit is gonna hurt!

RYOUTA: Eugh, there's nowhere to run... What should we do?

OKOSAN: Coo! (Okosan has gathered his resolve.)

RYOUTA: Eh?

OKOSAN: Coo coo coo! (Ryouta, Okosan will never forget the wonderful days spent with all of you. Farewell...!)

RYOUTA: No, San, you can't go out there! Our adventures are still just beginning!

OKOSAN: Coo coo coo!

TOHRI: Hehhhhh. Standing up to my bean cannon... You've got guts. However, that recklessness will send you to an early grave!

OKOSAN: Coo coo coo! (Okosan cannot forgive anybirdie who would waste beans. Nom! Nom! Nom!)

RYOUTA: San's... eating the bullets faster than the eye can see?

TOHRI: Wh--! Weeeeell then... How's this?! Power to maximum!!

OKOSAN: Nomomomomom!

RYOUTA: Amazing! San's speed wins out! And he keeps getting faster...!

OKOSAN: Coo coo cooooo! (Okosan is bursting with bean energy!)

TOHRI: That's... That should be faster than any bird's eyes can process!

RYOUTA: That's it... The beans that Nishikikouji-san made into bullets aren't just any beans! They're high-class beans from a high society food court! Which means that they were all selected with high nutritional value in mind, making them the ideal bird food!

OKOSAN: Coo! (Okosan is invincible when swelling with such luxury.)

TOHRI: There's no way... My art... surpassed by one mere fantail?! Stay away! Stay away!!

OKOSAN: Coo coo coo! (Muscular Okosan Dynamic!)

TOHRI: Uwaaaaaaaaaaaah!

RYOUTA: Amazing! That was amazing, San! Flawless victory!

OKOSAN: Hmhmhmph! Coo! (Praise me further.)

RYOUTA: Aaaaaaah... but the Legumentine's beans everybirdie worked hard for ended up like this... I wonder if it'll be okay to just pick them up and eat them.

OKOSAN: Coo cooooo! (The Ghosts of Wastefulness might come.) Nom! Nom!

TOHRI: Not yet... Not... yet! ...I... hah!... Do you think I'd give up with just this?

RYOUTA: Oh, Nishikikouji-san's still here.

TOHRI: You're forgetting an important point. Legumentine's isn't until tomorrow. I, the bird standing before you, shall buy up aaaaaaaaall of tomorrow's goods. You can't stop me! I'm a paying customer, after all.

RYOUTA: You must be delusional to call yourself a "customer" after all this!!

TOHRI: Heh! You can't do anything. Why? Because you don't have the budget necessary for this department store! Or do you two want to try buying the beans before I can? How many can you get?

OKOSAN: Coo coo cooooo! (Unfair! Mass purchasing is unfair!)

RYOUTA: Nishikikouji-san... Even if you do this, you'll just feel empty inside...

TOHRI: You there, clerk! Can you give me an advance order for the beans to be sold tomorrow? Aaahhhh, don't worry about the cost. I don't care how much it is. Just put it on this card.

SAKUYA: Stop right there!

TOHRI: Nuwah?!

OKOSAN: Coooo?!

RYOUTA: Sakuya? Why are you here?

TOHRI: What are you... Could you not interrupt my shopping?

SAKUYA: Hmph. I cannot believe you do not know my name. Have you never laid eyes upon this crest?!

TOHRI: Th... That's... The symbol of the noble Le Bel family!

SAKUYA: On this day, at 6:24 PM, the Le Bel family purchased the High Society Seagull Department Store!

RYOUTA: Ehhhhhhhhh?!

SAKUYA: Having become the new company president at this time, I established a purchase limit of three items per bird per distinct item. Therefore, your advance order is invalid!

RYOUTA: Could it be that the negotiations you said you had planned for after school were...?

SAKUYA: Yes. Though I didn't think I would be bumping heads with you all in the process. You understand now, don't you, Nishikikouji Tohri! I am the rule!

TOHRI: Keh. How immature!

RYOUTA: Please don't throw stones, Nishikikouji-san!

TOHRI: Ugh... Withdrawing now would only tarnish my name!

RYOUTA: Please... Please stop. Nishikikouji-san, your name is already meaningless! If you keep quarreling with people like this, it will only hurt you!

TOHRI: How could you understand how I feel--

RYOUTA: Nishikikouji-san! Please accept these. These beans... and my feelings!

TOHRI: Th... These are... Legumentine's beans...? My very first... No. No no no wait! Didn't you just pick these beans up off the floor?!

RYOUTA: That's right. But they don't taste any different!

OKOSAN: Nom! Nooom! (Beans are delishous!)

TOHRI: And when you talk about your feelings, you realize we aren't even friends, right?!

RYOUTA: That's right! But I thought it would be nice if you could be even a little bit happy, Nishikikouji-san!

TOHRI: Aaaah, enough! I don't want to get carried away by the atmosphere. ...Ah, but, though I'm loath to admit it, I'll accept these beans in exchange for pulling back today. I definitely... definitely wasn't moved by your show of affection though!!

RYOUTA: Don't do this agaaaain! ...That aside, why did you save us, Sakuya? And after you said all those things about Legumentine's.

SAKUYA: Don't let it get to your head. I did it to protect my territory. ...But I suppose that's right. The all-too-convenient Legumentine's business in Japan is absolutely worthless. It's tolerable among students, but I am already fed up with a state of affairs that would permit even those well into adulthood to become so frantic over it.

RYOUTA: I think Nishikikouji-san is a special case though.

SAKUYA: Nevertheless, I won't deny your earnest devotion. I was shown a portion of the security footage, and your desperate persuasion was of great interest. I'll observe the value this piece of culture holds for Japan for a while longer.

RYOUTA: Sakuya... You really are surprisingly flexible sometimes, Sakuya. If somebirdie like you became Prime Minister, the world might be a little better.

SAKUYA: Hmhm! Naturally! This is what they call the caliber of a king. Now--oi, over there, you clerk!

CLERK: How may I be of service?

SAKUYA: I'm amending our business plan to focus on expansion. We shall aim for the enlargement of our customer base. From now on, we shall allow customers regardless of their species.

CLERK: I have my reservations, but if the president so desires.

SAKUYA: Rock doves certainly differ from us fantails and seagulls, with their plain and filthy appearances. They seem nearly like a clump of dust.

RYOUTA: Sakuya that is extremely offensive.

SAKUYA: However, an outdated clientele will not be able to sustain itself!

OKOSAN: Coo coo! (How coooool, Sakuya!)

RYOUTA: Somehow I get the feeling that you just slipped some slurs in there but... Heh, at any rate, now I won't have to worry about being turned away at the door! Thanks, Sakuya! Here, this is an expression of my gratitude. Take it!

SAKUYA: Would you stop trying to give people beans you picked up off the floor?!

TOHRI: I'm back! ...But, it looks like everybirdie else went home. Haaah... I'll have to put these revisions together.

RYOUTA: Nishikikouji-san, you must have one too! Somebirdie who treats you kindly!

TOHRI: Hmph. I don't have anybirdie like that anyway. Oh... Who left their bag on my desk? I told them not to leave all their clutter behind. Oh well--hm? ...Is this a card...?

EDITOR: Dear Chief, Thanks for everything as always. You seemed a little too down on yourself, so everybirdie pooled their money and bought some Legumentine's beans. Please eat them and feel better. We're always cheering you on, Chief. -Golden Weekly Editorial Department.

TOHRI: ...Nn... Hah... There was something precious this close to me all along, wasn't there...?

†THE FAULTS OF A FALLEN ANGEL†[]

  • Japanese Title:
  • Length:

Unofficial English Translation by Kyaaa on dreamwidth.org

ANGHEL: Poh! Here and now, the next legend has been born! Now! Accept it!

NAGEKI: You wrote another new manga? You're pretty prolific, Higure-kun.

ANGHEL: The God of Time shows no mercy! Bearing proof of my sin, I must continue to draw this Forbidden Epic!

NAGEKI: Hmmmmm... Well, I was just getting bored, so I guess it's fine...

ANGHEL: Anghel, the Crimson Fallen Angel, attempted to cross the Valley of Deep Mist. The Caller of Phosphorescent Stars must be led to the Hallowed Magician of White. Yet there, the Dark Magician Wallenstein's cowardly trap lay in wait.

ANGHEL: This dark gas... It couldn't be--the Nightmare Fantail?!

CAIN: How inconvenient that you brought the Caller here alive. Now, this place shall be a grave for both of you! Hahhhhh--!

ANGHEL: Watch out!!

ESTELLE: Anghel! You took the hit for me--!

CAIN: Ahahaha...! What a nice voice you cry out with! As your name suggests, are you going to keep protecting him until your breast is dyed crimson?

ANGHEL: Geehhhh... You who calls the stars... those without sin have no need to be harmed... *wheeze*... You must--go on ahead!

ESTELLE: No... There's so much blood! Hold fast! I can't bear you dying for my sake!

NAGEKI: This is... me, right?

ANGHEL: That's right!! This mourning dove is the astrologist who opens the Dimensional Door!

NAGEKI: Why are you the only one who gets to be cool? It doesn't really make sense for me to be saved by you.

ANGHEL: This is destiny!! And then, the Caller in possession of the Celestial Globe, they made their way towards the ancient ruins.

SEERE: You have done well to come here, Fallen Angel, Anghel. The safety of the Caller is also of utmost importance. To deal with that man... the Nightmare Fantail, you must be steadily improving in skill.

ANGHEL: I once... sacrificed someone precious...! At this level... I still cannot erase my sin... but this is to restore my dishonor!

ESTELLE: This Celestial Globe... should be the final key!

SEERE: Mm. With this, all the necessary tools of magic have been gathered. Now, the time has come to release the power of the ruins! O Eternal Lapis Lazuli hidden within the Dimensional Gap! Answer to Heaven's call! Materibilize before us!

NAGEKI: Materibilize...? What's this? A misspelling? The lines are all shaky. Were you falling asleep?

ANGHEL: Keh! That's right! This is my sin! My mistake!! Gwaaaaah!!

NAGEKI: Shirogane-kun's pampering you too, in the conversation. Is this some kind of wish fulfillment for you?

ANGHEL: S… Such a superficial spirit could not perpetuate an epic!

NAGEKI: I guess. But this Shirogane-kun seems to go unnaturally easy on you. ...Also, this line about "restoring dishonor" is weird. That would just mean being dishonored again.

ANGHEL: Wahhhh!

NAGEKI: I think the other pages had some dubious language too. Higure-kun, when you draw manga, maybe you should use a dictionary? ...Even under normal circumstances you keep using complicated kanji.

ANGHEL: To think such a trick existed...! Yes, I shall carry the Book of the Wise Men, and let the quest unravel ever closer to the truth!

NAGEKI: I'll read it again if you bring me another one. I mean, I have more than enough time.

ANGHEL: I am in your debt! These red wings guided by the stars have at last--overcome their trials without--in the name of--Ah, Mom? Mm. Mm. Eh? You forgot the chopsticks in my bento, really? Aaah, it's okay, it's okay, you don't have to bring them. I'll get some disposable ones. Mm. Thanks! --Mm, mmhmm mm mm. To delay any further on gathering the lost Mana would be fatal! Caller of the Phosphorescent Stars! I shall set out on a journey to seek the Bread of Life of the Noble Silver! Fareweeeeeell!!

NAGEKI: Heeeehhhh... so that's what Higure-kun's family is like.

THE SLEEPLESS WHITE QUAIL[]

  • Japanese Title:
  • Length:

Unofficial English Translation by Kyaaa on dreamwidth.org

NANAKI: I had a dream: I looked up at the sky, crowded so thickly with gray clouds that I couldn't see anything. Powder snow fluttered down like feathers from the gloomy sky. The snow piled up gently without a sound, painting the entire area pure white. It covered up everything, so that what lay beneath couldn't be seen... I thought it must have been falling for quite a long time. ... A dark brown bird was napping at my feet, half-covered in snow. This bird with a face I had never seen spoke to me in a voice I had never heard, and this is what he said.

HITORI: Mm? It's been a while since I've had any visitors... Hello! Mr. White Button Quail.

NANAKI: Are you taking an afternoon nap in a place like this? Aren't you cold?

HITORI: Not at all! If you do this, you can use the snow as a futon.

NANAKI: Ehhhh... Not only is the snow dry, but it's not cold. Haaaahhhhh... Now I'm getting sleepy, too. Could you let me take a nap with you...?

SHUU: Common cold. Influenza. Diarrhea. And now somebirdie has fainted? ...Hah. How dull. Why does this infirmary attract nothing but the most banal of patients? I nearly think the boredom may cause me to fall ill myself.

YUUYA: Pretty indiscreet, Sensei. Isn't it your job to provide tender care no matter the symptoms that might come your way? Couldn't you keep up the illusion of being an angel in white, even if it's a lie?

NANAKI: Mm... Mmmmm... Mmmmmmmm...

YUUYA: Aah, are you awake, Nanaki-sensei?

NANAKI: Ah...? Huh... I thought I was sleeping on a white plain... Why did I wake up...?

YUUYA: Are you still half-asleep? This is the infirmary.

NANAKI: In... firm, ary...?

YUUYA: You were on the brink of death, Sensei! You were covered in snow taking a nap in the courtyard! Do you not remember?

NANAKI: Aaaaahhhhh...! I kind of do... and kind of don't.

YUUYA: Please take care of yourself! If you'd kept that up for just a little longer, you'd be being dissected by Iwamine-sensei right now.

NANAKI: D... Dissected?

SHUU: Oh, yes. If you had managed to die of indeterminate causes on the premises, I had planned on performing an autopsy with the utmost devotion. What a shame.

YUUYA: Hey, if you carelessly fall asleep outside on a cold day like this, you really will be made into Iwamine-sensei's toy, you know?

SHUU: Excuse me; he is not a toy. He would be the subject of an experiment intended to satisfy my intellectual curiosity.

YUUYA: We'd call that a toy, Sensei.

NANAKI: Nnnn, I don't want to be opened up just yet. But I can't help being sleepy.

YUUYA: How can you be sleepy 24 hours a day? You made my little brother pretty mad! "It is unbelievable that a teacher would nap on the job! He's a salary thief!" ...In his own words. Now, I'm a much more leisurely student myself, but don't you think it'd be good for you to take a long look at your lifestyle?

NANAKI: Nnnn... That's easier said than done. I make sure to go to bed early at home...

YUUYA: You're sleeping day and night! Iwamine-sensei, stop mixing those strange-smelling liquids for a bit and give this patient and his Nap Disease some advice, would you?

SHUU: Why is it necessary that I do such a thing?

YUUYA: You're the school nurse. Honestly... I think this school must have the most salary thieves in all of Japan.

SHUU: Haah, how annoying. Are you currently taking any medicine?

NANAKI: Not really.

SHUU: Alcohol?

NANAKI: I'm more of a tea bird.

SHUU: Your last physical examination... didn't reveal any particular problems, did it?

NANAKI: It didn't. Thanks to that, I'm living healthily.

SHUU: It doesn't seem as if you have excess brain activity. So I can't imagine the cause is psychological. Do you have any serious worries or troubles?

NANAKI: Ahaha! Oh, no, I don't have anything like that.

SHUU: Then it is a case of slow cognitive faculty, or in other words, a simple idiosyncrasy. Figure it out on your own.

NANAKI: Eh... Eeehhhhhh?

YUUYA: Personally, I use espressos to keep me awake, but you said you were bad with coffee, didn't you?

NANAKI: Mm-hmm. Not to mention, coffee has never managed to keep my eyes open. Ah... That's it! Iwamine-sensei, do you have any medicine to keep me from falling asleep?

SHUU: Medicine to keep you from falling asleep... is it?

NANAKI: Yes. Even doses of straight caffeine don't work on me at all. But I thought that you might have some stronger medicine. If I had that, then I wouldn't carelessly take a nap that ended up with me covered in snow.

YUUYA: I think asking Iwamine-sensei for a prescription is the more dangerous option, though.

SHUU: Would you please be quiet for a moment, Sakazaki-kun? Medicine to keep one from falling asleep... I do, in fact, have some. If that was what you wanted, then you ought to have said so earlier. I will have something prepared for you before the day is out. Hohohohoho!

NANAKI: Yeeees! Thank you very much!

YUUYA: Aah, geez. Why doesn't this quail have any danger sense?

RYOUTA: The next day!

NANAKI: Morning, everybirdie!

RYOUTA: Uh... Um? What's wrong, Nanaki-sensei? There's still ten minutes until homeroom!

OKOSAN: Coo coooooo. (How strange, Nanaki-sensei. You aren't late for being late.)

NANAKI: Naaaah, somehow, I'm in a good mood today. I just never got around to sleeping!

RYOUTA: A... Are you all right?

SAKUYA: What are you worrying for? This is how a teacher should be! Hmhm, it seems he's finally had a change of heart.

RYOUTA: That's fine, but...

SAKUYA: Then, three days later!

NANAKI: Ummm, today, let's go over the problems on the last proficiency test that most people got wrong...

SAKUYA: Recently, Nanaki hasn't been sleeping during class either; it seems he has finally become a proper teacher.

OKOSAN: Zzz... Zzz...

RYOUTA: San, wake up! We're actually doing math today! Still, I might be imagining it, but Nanaki-sensei doesn't look that great, somehow...

OKOSAN: Cooooo. (Some days later.)

NANAKI: ...Morning, everybirdiiiiiie...

RYOUTA: S... Sensei, you're so worn out; what's wrong?!

SAKUYA: You had seemed to be gradually withering away recently, but... it wasn't a hallucination?

OKOSAN: Coo cooooo! (Emergency! Feast upon Okosan's prized swollen hemp!)

NANAKI: Naaaahahahaha, it's no big deal. I just haven't slept for about... a... week... oh...

RYOUTA: Sensei! Get it together!!

SAKUYA: He's on the verge of a breakdown... Oi, Kawara! We will bring him to the infirmary for now!

RYOUTA: Yeah!

RYOUTA: He drank Iwamine-sensei's personally crafted remedy for drowsiness?!

SHUU: Oh yes, I believe it was, "medicine to keep him from falling asleep".

SAKUYA: That's only to be expected from you, Iwamine-sensei! Perfectly responding to a patient's request!

RYOUTA: Sakuya at least stop cheering him on at a time like this! And Nanaki-sensei, why would you even ask that?? Even I don't accept anything but brand name medicine from the infirmary!

NANAKI: Mmnnnnn... I thought it might be better than napping in the middle of winter and freezing to death...

RYOUTA: But now you have severe insomnia, don't you?!

NANAKI: Aahhh... I want to sleep... I want to go to sleep...

RYOUTA: What should we do... He's going to die if we don't do anything.

SHUU: No worries on that point. There have been no cases of sleep deprivation as a direct cause of death. Although, with his sympathetic nervous system constantly activated, he might have a heart attack before long. Hohohohoho!

RYOUTA: This is not a "hohoho" situation this is legitimately medical malpractice!!

SAKUYA: Keh, I see! This incident may be as trivial as Nanaki's sleep deprivation, but is there the possibility that Iwamine-sensei's illustrious reputation might suffer damage...?

RYOUTA: Why don't we try worrying about Nanaki-sensei's life first Sakuya.

SAKUYA: Regardless, we must lull Nanaki to sleep before he suffers a breakdown, at all costs!

OKOSAN: Coo coooo! (A technique to leave him fast asleep? Leave this one to Okosan. A hot water bottle.)

SAKUYA: Good judgment. All right, come with me to purchase one immediately!

OKOSAN: Coo coo coo! (That is unnecessary! Okosan is just as warm.)

RYOUTA: I see! San can just slip into Nanaki-sensei's futon!

OKOSAN: Coo coo coooo!

SAKUYA: How's that? Do you feel sleepy at all?

NANAKI: Mmmmm... The bed got cramped, so it's a little painfulllll...

OKOSAN: Coo. Coo.

RYOUTA: I think San's already fast asleep.

SAKUYA: Next! Next!!

NAGEKI: Something for when you can't sleep? I think there were one or two of those kinds of books, for sure. I think the standard method is aroma?

RYOUTA: "Aroma"... You mean, like incense?

NAGEKI: Mm. Lavender is the most well-known, but chamomile, clary sage, rosewood, and various others are mentioned, I think. Why don't you try that?

SAKUYA: I cannot possibly believe it would have an immediate enough effect, but perhaps we ought to test it just in case.

ANGHEL: Geh--! The Sage of Nightmares has been seized with the Curse of Evil Awakening!?!

RYOUTA: It's not a curse, it's insomnia, Anghel.

ANGHEL: As a Nightmare, he is a creature that devours dreams, and is saved by dreams! Denying himself like this will cause only decay, and those wings that violate the basis of their own name, unable to carry out their true intentions, will be swallowed up by the Nothingness!

SAKUYA: I can't understand a word you're saying. Let's go, Kawara! Asking for advice from the likes of him is a waste of time!

ANGHEL: Wait! My... My crimson breast is murmuring! Thou shalt tell the story that must be told. Calm preparations may tempt the Sage to his rest, and perhaps the Silent Castle shall rise again!

RYOUTA: The... Silent what?

NAGEKI: He's saying you could read him a bedtime story.

RYOUTA: Thanks for the translation, Nageki!

ANGHEL: Geh! Take this! Textoris Melodia Funeris! This is the story you must tell!

SAKUYA: I've lit the incense. Begin, Kawara.

RYOUTA: Now, just relax and listen, Sensei.

NANAKI: Mmmmm... Please...

RYOUTA: At last, the Crimson Fallen Angel shall open the bloodstained Door of Fate! Here I am, Dark Sorcerer Wallenstein! As long as I have the Holy Spear Saekro'm in wing, your bewitching magic is useless! ...How's that, are you sleepy yet?

NANAKI: Haaaahhhh... Rather, I think I feel a little more awake...

SHUU: You're raising quite a racket, Kawara-kun. Please be quiet.

RYOUTA: Oh, sorry.

NANAKI: Sorry... for causing so much trouble...

SAKUYA: Honestly! What else can we do...

YUUYA: Salut! Having some trouble?

SAKUYA: Get out! Nobirdie asked for you!

YUUYA: Have you forgotten? I'm the Infirmary Club President! If there's an incident in the infirmary, it's only natural for me to come running. ...Aa~aah, look at how worn out he is, and after I told him not to rely so recklessly on Iwamine-sensei, too.

RYOUTA: Senpai! Senpai, please open your heart and tell us some kind of secret surefire sleep strategy too!

YUUYA: I suppose... Have you tried insulation?

SAKUYA: Oko attempted using a hot water bottle, but there was no effect.

RYOUTA: Next time maybe we should try some Attaka socks?

YUUYA: Then... I've heard you can sleep better if you don't wear any underwear.

RYOUTA: Maybe if he takes off his underwear and only wears socks? Mmmm, that might work...

SAKUYA: We birds don't usually wear underwear in the first place!!

YUUYA: True enough... Well, what about using an electric blanket?

SHUU: If it's an electric blanket you're after, I have the perfect new product.

YUUYA: Hm? Would that by any chance be something with a high voltage current?

SHUU: Oh my. How did you know?

RYOUTA: An electric blanket is not a weapon! Please don't come up with such a dim-witted invention!!

SAKUYA: Oi Kawara! Are you insulting Iwamine-sensei?! There are electric chairs for executions! It's not a stretch to have an electric blanket for executions too!

RYOUTA: It's definitely stretching! We're not talking about executions here!

YUUYA: He's right. Why don't you try showing some concern for others once in a while, Sakuya?

SAKUYA: Hmph... I do somewhat understand even without you telling me!

NANAKI: Mm... It's no good...

RYOUTA: Sensei, does that mean you're sleepy? Or does that mean your heart is seizing up?

NANAKI: The seizing one...

SAKUYA: Don't fall asleep! ...No, it's fine if you fall asleep but don't die!

NANAKI: Nnnn... I want a peaceful sleep... Iwamine-sensei... Do you have any medicine for falling asleep...?

SHUU: Medicine for a peaceful sleep... is it? Ho ho, I have countless.

YUUYA: Waaait a minute! That medicine--!

SHUU: Why must you get in my way, Sakazaki-kun? You are serving as my assistant, are you not? Would you please give that back?

YUUYA: Aaah, it really is a muscle relaxant...

SAKUYA: A muscle relaxant... in an infirmary...?!

RYOUTA: Well, it's not strange if Iwamine-sensei has some...

SHUU: First of all, a muscle relaxant is no different than a sleeping pill that affects receptors non-selectively. If he wishes for a peaceful sleep, it is the most reliable way to achieve that. I haven't yet administered it to somebirdie on the verge of a breakdown, so I am looking forward to seeing the results, but--

RYOUTA: Please don't look forward to it!

NANAKI: Mmmm... mm...

SHUU: Oho, his pulse has slowed. It seems there is no need for medication.

RYOUTA: Sensei! Sensei!

SAKUYA: Geh... What should we do...?!

NANAKI: I had a dream: I looked around me, and saw pure white, like a freshly washed futon. I was nodding off, covered completely in the comfortable snow. The snow just kept falling, and I couldn't hear anything. It was a very nice, peaceful place. At that point, suddenly, I heard the voice of the dream bird.

HITORI: Hey, are you sleeping here too?

NANAKI: Aah, Mr. Dream Bird! Hello! I'm just so, so sleepy...

HITORI: I see... but, this is where I should be. It's a bit of a problem if you're here.

NANAKI: Nnnnnn... Nnnnnwelllll... Just a little... I'll just, sleep a little, and then leave... Good... night... zzz...

HITORI: But sleeping is my job... You still have a little longer--tomorrow, and the day after that, and after that...

RYOUTA: Sensei! Sensei! Please, open your eyes!

SAKUYA: Nnngeh... Even if Nanaki dies, a doctor as renowned as Iwamine-sensei should be able to make his medical treatment take effect again on even this victim!

SHUU: You flatter me. Now then, shall we begin preparations for the autopsy?

RYOUTA: Eeehhhh?! What happened to CPR?!

SHUU: I've been waiting for so long. Aah, first, the brain... to verify once again the efficacy of the medicine... Ahahahahahahaha!

RYOUTA: It's no good... Our doctor's just raring to sit back and let this guy die...!

YUUYA: Sakuya, however much Iwamine-sensei may be the benefactor that saved your father's life, isn't it getting a little difficult to cover for him?

SAKUYA: B... Be quiet! Iwamine-sensei must have his own idea!

YUUYA: Once you've flipped Iwamine-sensei's switch, you can't count on him helping you out! We have until he finishes his preparations to resuscitate the patient. Can I leave chest compressions to the two of you?

RYOUTA: Yes!

SAKUYA: What are you doing?

YUUYA: Considering the risks, I can't get my hopes up too much, but... It's the only thing left we can try.

NANAKI: The gently warm futon... shuts out... the drafts... when they're calm, and when they're rough... In the futon... eternally... I swear... eternal... love...

HITORI: You seem to be pretty happy sleeping... Mm, but it would be best if you woke up soon... Hm? ...That's strange. That thunder sounds like it's coming closer. Is somebirdie coming for you?

YUUYA: Right, done.

SAKUYA: Wh... What is this?!

RYOUTA: Isn't that Iwamine-sensei's custom electric blanket?! Are you trying to kill him twice, Senpai?!

YUUYA: No no no. I tampered with it a bit. So now it's for the opposite.

SAKUYA: Hah--an electric shock?!

YUUYA: I may not look it, but I've got some skilled wingtips. All right... I covered Nanaki-sensei with the electric blanket. Now, how about this?

NANAKI: Aaaah!

RYOUTA: He flew! Sensei flew!

SAKUYA: Good work, Sakazaki!

YUUYA: See, this is why you should always ask for assistance from your trusty Infirmary Club President.

NANAKI: Aaah, uwawawawa s-s-somehow, I feel like I'm flickering...!

SHUU: Oh my... What a shame. You brought him back to life.

NANAKI: Nnnnnn... nnnah... How shocking... Nn, what's going on...?

SAKUYA: You were in a state of suspended animation, and so you were revived with an electric shock. You understand, don't you?

RYOUTA: Senpai turned Iwamine-sensei's murder weapon into a life-saving apparatus! It was so cool!

YUUYA: Right, in a sexy and luxurious manner.

SHUU: Honestly, you are always overstepping your bounds. Can't you let me have a little fun once in a while?

NANAKI: Noooo, but thanks to you, even the stiffness in my shoulders is gone, and somehow, I feel refreshed! Thank you very much, Iwamine-sensei. You too, Sakazaki-kun.

SAKUYA: Is your insomnia no longer a problem?

NANAKI: Mmhmm. It's probably back to normal. I got kind of tired out, and now I'm sleepy... wah...

SAKUYA: Do not fall asleep!! How long are you planning on inconveniencing Iwamine-sensei?!

NANAKI: Mmm... mm... I gueeeess...

SHUU: If necessary, shall I prescribe you some nutrients? I just completed something the other day, so it is still undergoing testing, but with your assistance...

RYOUTA: We're good, thanks! You too, Nanaki-sensei; this is where you smile and fondly say that you don't need to rely on Iwamine-sensei's handmade medicine anymore, please!

SAKUYA: That's right! Iwamine-sensei doesn't need to have his wings full with the likes of you!

NANAKI: Okaaaaay...

YUUYA: Too bad, Iwamine-sensei. Your toy's been confiscated this time.

SHUU: Hoho. As you say. Well, I don't mind. I'll be waiting for the next opportunity.

RYOUTA: Today's summary!

YUUYA: If you come across somebirdie going into cardiac arrest, take immediate action to help save their life. If your AED battery is expired or otherwise broken down, you'll be in big trouble in an emergency. Remember to check it regularly. Oh, and everybirdie make sure to call an ambulance. Finally, no animals were harmed in the making of this or any other episode of Hatoful Boyfriend. Is that everything?

SAKUYA: What a farce.

SAKUYA: Late... He's late! What is Nanaki doing?!

RYOUTA: There, there, you know this always happens.

OKOSAN: Cooooo cooooo! (Going right back to sleep after waking up on a cold morning is the best.)

SAKUYA: Isn't winter over by now?! Don't use the temperature as an excuse!

NANAKI: Aaaahaahaahhhh... mmmnng. Morning, everybirdie. Well, time to take attendance with gusto once again...

NANAKI: Since then, I haven't met the dream bird. Is he still sleeping in the snow? I think it would be nice if we met again someday.

YUUYA: I only get to stay in this infirmary for a little while longer... I'll be sad to leave it behind.

SHUU: You hardly know what to do with all that free time on your wings, hm? Your duties as head of the Infirmary Club are over, are they not? I don't believe it's necessary for you to stay much longer.

YUUYA: As a hero of justice protecting this school, it's my job to keep an eye out and stop your pranks in their tracks, up until I graduate! No offense.

SHUU: Oh no, don't worry; I'm in an excellent mood. The testing for my next drug is already underway.

YUUYA: Wh... What?!

SHUU: The coffee you just drank... How was it? The smell was so strong, you didn't notice, did you?

YUUYA: Pffft--! Gyeh...! Wh... What kind is it this time?

SHUU: That's something to look forward to when the effects start setting in. If I told you ahead of time, the placebo effect would muddy my results, wouldn't it? Muhahahahahaha!

RYOUTA "From Here On Out"[]

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Unofficial English Translation by Kyaaa on dreamwidth.org

Hey, are you heading home now? Me too. Let's go together! ...Ummmm, I turned in the work, and it looks like I have everything I need. Well, let's go!

Haah, it's still pretty chilly. Can't the warmth of spring hurry up? The weather report said it might even snow tonight. Hah... But, once spring comes, we'll both be seniors. I almost can't believe it. It feels like only yesterday we had the entrance ceremony. I don't know if we'll be in the same class... That's a little lonely.

Wh—ah, mm, you're right, it's not like it's already decided we'll be split up! But, even if I am in a different class, I'll still come visit. And if you have any requests, come grab me anytime, and I'll make you lunch like always.

...Seniors... Seniors, huh! I still don't know for sure if I'll go to university or get a fulltime job. Mom isn't the type to order me around, so somehow, I started thinking my life would stay like this forever. But that's not true, is it? After the cold winter comes the warm spring, and a new year begins. I don't know what I'll be doing next year or the year after that, but I think I'll be fine as long as you're by my side. And then, someday...

OKOSAN "Basic Training"[]

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Unofficial English Translation by Kyaaa on dreamwidth.org

Coo coo cooo! (Time to train with Okosan. Just like the mighty warriors who came before us!)

Coo cooooo! (Come, and you may borrow the manly down on Okosan's chest! Readyyyyy, go!)

Coo coo cooooooo! (You're too slow!) Coo coo coooooo! (That's it!) Coo coo cooo! (Become the wind!)

Coooooooo?! (That was too fast!) Coo coo cooooo. (Understood. Okosan shall keep pace with you instead, since pushing yourself to do the impossible will destroy your body.) Coo, coo, coo, coo. (One, two, one, two, yell in time and keep the pace!)

Coo cooooo. (Goooood job, you shall be praised for your hard work.) Coo coo coo! (If you are able to run even faster, Okosan shall accept you as a comrade on his great journey. Keep up the good work!)

ANGHEL "The End of a Black History"[]

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Unofficial English Translation by Kyaaa on dreamwidth.org

VOICE 1: You're going the wrong way! This is the middle of the line!

VOICE 2: Oi, don't run! It's dangerous! Stay still on the escalator!

The holy war where the chosen ones meet, the Ragnarok of Dawn! A spiral of desires stained with tears of blood, where the honorable veterans of battle put their lives on the line to fight! Some hold in wing the scriptures to heal the casualties, yet others struggle in pain from thirst and hunger, and join the corpses of the fallen! For half a year, I refined my wings, and carried the offerings to awaken each soul! As the Kaleido Master says, the pen is mightier than the sword! With support, this time my legend ought to lead the soldiers as the guide of heroes, and allow them to carry out those roles! However...!

Time only cruelly mangles my soul! Has my epic... come too soon for the current generation?! This is... my sin... for having fallen into the present era!

An indisputable fate, a crimson lamentation... Imprisoned in a nightmare, I...

Fweh?! Could you... Could you be... the Spirit of Light?! Do you understand the necessity of my legend?!

Yes...! I have long awaited this time! When somebirdie's soul regains its rightful power, my soul as well is granted healing each time! Accept it! This is yours!

That pure grimoire... might it also include my... Illurequestria?! Aah... ahh! Of course! If you wish, I shall polish these wings...! Just wait! I shall even create a copy in full color!!

NAGEKI "Nageki's Diary"[]

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Unofficial English Translation by Kyaaa on dreamwidth.org

I lose consciousness for a brief time, and wake up in the same library again. The invisible walls that hinder me are silently standing today, too. It's the same thing over and over. How long am I going to be shut up in here?

Days. Months. ...Maybe even years, that I'll be staying here.

At first, I thought everybirdie was ignoring me and avoiding me on purpose. ...But that's not it. They couldn't even make the choice to ignore me. I wasn't reflected in their eyes even once.

On the other side of the windowpanes, the seasons definitely keep changing. Everybirdie grows up, and one after another, they leave the nest. It's only my clock... that's stopped, unmoving.

Why... do I have nothing but questions? Why am I being tied to this library? Why did I lose my life? Just where was I born, and where did I grow up? I think and think, but I can't come up with an answer.

I feel like I'm forgetting something very important. That day, on the other side of the door, the one who called me was...

BONUS TRACK "Bean Talk"[]

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Unofficial English Translation by Kyaaa on dreamwidth.org

RYOUTA: What kinds of beans do I like? I like corn that's easy on my stomach.

SAKUYA: Isn't it obvious that the most expertly calculated blend is the best?

OKOSAN: Okosan is firmly on the side of hemp!!

YUUYA: I'm a member of the Bitter Black Bean Party, maybe?

SHUU: I'm not terribly interested in food.

NAGEKI: Millet for me.

ANGHEL: The jet-black beans are calling to me...!

NANAKI: When you're full, you get sleepy, huh~

TOHRI: Is this where you've been hiding, Isa Souma?! Today is the day I'll have you crying uncle!

RYOUTA: If you're looking for Iwamine-sensei, he already left.


Trivia[]

Gallery[]


Notes and References[]

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